hot4: December 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

Above the Law: Above the Law’s Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Above the Law's Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012

Dec 31st 2012, 17:33

It's the last day of December, so it's a good time to look back on the year that was. We'll do what we’ve done for the past three years (wrap-up posts from 2009, 2010, and 2011 can be found here, here, and here) and identify the ten biggest stories of the past year as decided by you, our readers. With the help of Google Analytics, we've compiled a list of our top ten posts for 2012, based on traffic (as represented by pageviews).

By the way, for the third year in a row, the most popular category page on Above the Law was Law Schools. People have now been intensely focused on the declining value proposition of going to law school for as long as it takes to earn a Juris Doctor degree. Isn’t it time that we graduate from the current educational model?

The second and third most-popular categories on ATL in 2012 were Biglaw and Bonuses. Although this year brought us the largest law firm failure ever, nearly all other firms indiscriminately doled out offers to summer associates, and bonus season looked better for the first time in years. While the legal profession is still in transition, things are certainly looking up, and through the highs and the lows, we’ve been there to cover it all.

So what were the ten most popular individual posts at Above the Law in 2012? Let's find out….

Here they are, in ascending order of popularity; click on the title of each post to be taken to the original story.

10. Lil Wayne Is Quite Possibly the Best Deponent of All Time: Depositions usually aren't very exciting, but every now and then, you get a gem that's worthy of public fanfare from the legal world. Given the substance of these leaked deposition clips (courtesy of TMZ), it’s fair to say that Lil Wayne thinks he’s above the law.

9. Lesbian Law Student's Explicit Law Firm Sex Diary Goes Public: This past summer, a law student thought it would be a good idea to write about her sex life online, in graphic detail, where everyone could read about all of the hot lesbian action that she’d been getting as a summer associate at a law firm. Oh là là, très sexy!

8. '[Bleep] With Me And You Will Have A Huge [Bleep]hole,' Warns Biglaw Partner: When attempting to schedule a deposition via email, Martin Sweeney, a Cozen O’Connor partner, had several choice names for opposing counsel (e.g., "pansy," "p**sy," and "ignorant slut”). He then warned fellow email recipients like so: "[Bleep] with me and you will have a huge [bleep]hole." Alas, Sweeney ended up with the huge [bleep]hole — he's no longer a partner at the firm. (And he’s currently in fourth place in our Lawyer of the Year competition).

7. Law Revue Video Contest 2012: The Finalists! This year, 23 law schools submitted 31 videos for our annual law revue video contest. Some of them were funny, some of them were "meh," and some of them made us want to cry. There was some fierce competition when it came time to vote for your favorites, but in the end, an Ivy League law school stole the show. Feel free to watch the videos again for some legal entertainment.

6. A Law School Love Story: Prominent Professor Marries Columbia 3L: What happens when a law professor who’s been described as “the James Bond of Columbia Law School” marries one of his students in a ceremony officiated by Justice Elena Kagan at the Supreme Court of the United States? Rumors and juicy gossip galore! Leave it to your editors at ATL to cover heartwarming general interest stories like this one.

5. Breaking: Cravath Announces Year-End Bonuses; Let the 2012 Bonus Season Begin! Cravath kicked off this year's Biglaw bonus season on November 26, announcing bonuses that were more generous than in years past (though some would argue we’ve not yet returned to the pre-recession “salad days” of bonuses). On the bright side, Cravath made payouts on December 21, instead of pushing their associates over the fiscal cliff.

4. A Quinn Emanuel Partner's Lecherous 'Reply All': Oh, the dangers of email. We certainly admire this Quinn Emanuel partner's "gumption." Commercial litigator Kevin Reed sent out a lecherous — and now infamous — reply-all to the entire New York office of the firm, applauding a colleague's “tight dress.” Scandalous!

3. Departure Memo of the Day: Parenting Gets The Best Of One Biglaw Associate: This former Biglaw attorney rocked the legal world with her epic departure memo. The memo went viral, with mentions everywhere from the Huffington Post to the New York Times, and made many people question their own sense of work/life balance. (FYI: The Clifford Chance Mommy is currently in second place in our Lawyer of the Year competition.)

2. The U.S. News Law School Rankings Are Out! In a profession obsessed with prestige, who doesn’t love this list? The post announcing the arrival of U.S. News & World Report's influential law-school rankings always makes our top ten stories — in 2009, it took fourth place; in 2010, it placed third; in 2011, it took the top slot. This year, it’s our silver medalist. From the crème de la crème to the new and improved “second tier,” prospective law students, lawyers, and legal educators will continue to salivate over the U.S. News rankings.

1. Cam Girl Pleasures Herself In A Top Law School's Library: An amateur porn star. A top law school library. A 43 minute and 43 second video of a woman masturbating and massaging her breasts for an online audience. As can be expected, this winning combination resulted in orgasmic pageviews. The video was deleted, but your ATL editors had the foresight to take screen shots of all the action. Consider this 2012′s happy ending.

We hope you enjoyed this look back at the ten most popular stories of 2012. If you have a favorite Above the Law story from the past year that didn't crack the top ten, please feel free to give it a mention in the comments.

And now for a brief programming note: Since Tuesday is the federal holiday for New Year's Day, we won't be publishing much (if at all) between now and Wednesday, January 2. Happy New Year! We'll see you in 2013!

Earlier: Above The Law's Top Ten Most Popular Stories of 2011
Above The Law’s Top Ten Most Popular Stories of 2010
Above The Law's Top Ten Most Popular Stories of 2009

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Tom & Lorenzo: Happy New Year, Kittens!

Tom & Lorenzo

Fabulous & Opinionated

Happy New Year, Kittens!

Dec 31st 2012, 14:58

Darlings, Clay Lorenzo and Clay Tom… …would like to wish you all a FABULOUS New Year. This video was made by Laura Bennett and her kids several years back when a holiday trip to their country home threatened to send Laura into a tailspin of mommy madness. You try spending a week in a glorified [...]

Friday, December 28, 2012

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Above the Law: Non-Sequiturs: 12.28.12

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Non-Sequiturs: 12.28.12

Dec 28th 2012, 22:00

Chris Christie, king of the prose-ticians.

* U.S. Attorneys are rising up, taking office, and conducting their business like hard-ass prosecutors. [Wall Street Journal]

* If only they had more guns at the police station, this might never have happened. [Fox News]

* Of course, out in Arizona, the state attorney general is pushing for an “armed posse” to patrol schools. Arizona: where bad ideas go to be fruitful and multiply. [NBC News]

* Would you give your kidney to your favorite law professor? I wouldn’t, but I would consider taking the kidney of my least favorite law professor and giving it to, well, pretty much anybody else. [Wake Forest School of Law]

* “Aereokiller” has been ordered to stop killing TV networks. [Film On]

* Wait, we still have “longshoremen”? For real, not just as the backdrop for a season of the Wire? [Miami Herald]

* Should law deans be “disbarred”? I like how people have to spend all this time just trying to figure out how to get law deans to tell the truth. [Tax Prof Blog]

Above the Law: Cretaceous Law: Bone Smuggler Pleads Guilty

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Cretaceous Law: Bone Smuggler Pleads Guilty

Dec 28th 2012, 20:01

It turns out, Mongolia was right.

Back in May, we told you about a lawyer who, on behalf of the president of Mongolia, was involved in his own crusade to stop the auction of precious Tyrannosaurus bones. Lawyer Robert Painter and President Elbegdorj Tsakhia argued that a Tyrannosaurus bataar skeleton had been smuggled out of Mongolia to be sold in America.

Eventually, U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara of the S.D.N.Y got involved, on the side of Mongolia. It turns out that this Mongolian dinosaur was just the tip of one man’s international smuggling operation.

That man pleaded guilty yesterday….

Here’s a little rule you can use: don’t trust anybody or anything whose title is a business term followed by an academic term. “For Profit” School? No thanks. “Professional” Lecturer? I’ll pass.

Here, Bharara arrested “Commercial” Paleontologist, Eric Prokopi. On Thursday, Prokopi pleaded guilty. From the WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.):

On Thursday, Eric Prokopi, a Florida commercial paleontologist, admitted in Manhattan federal court that he made "vague and misleading" statements on customs forms and caused others to do the same "so it didn't draw attention to the shipment" when he imported dinosaur fossils between 2010 and 2012.

He pleaded guilty to three charges, including interstate transportation of stolen property.

This is why the world needs lawyers. Without lawyers, everything would devolve to the survival of the most ruthless in the state of nature created by free markets.

We don’t need Indiana Jones to track down and stop the Eric Prokopis of the world. That’s what we pay Preet Bharara to do.

U.S. Gets Paleontologist, Dinosaur Bones In Prehistoric Plea [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

Earlier: Cretaceous Law: It Belongs In A Museum
Cretaceous Law: Attorneysaurus Rex

Tom & Lorenzo: Top 15 BEST 2012 Red Carpet Looks: 5 to 1

Tom & Lorenzo

Fabulous & Opinionated

Top 15 BEST 2012 Red Carpet Looks: 5 to 1

Dec 28th 2012, 17:49

The very BEST of the BEST for the year, darlings! Can you stand it? We’re going to go out on a limb here and say, when all is said and done, no, you won’t stand for it. But debate is part of the fun, is it not? You call us crackheads and we silently judge [...]

Above the Law: From the Career Files: The Perils of Advocacy

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

From the Career Files: The Perils of Advocacy

Dec 28th 2012, 18:30

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts from the ATL Career Center’s team of expert contributors. Today, from Ross Guberman, a look at lawyers’ ethical breaches and their consequences.

Quick: List all the ways you can get into ethical hot water while writing a brief, and then list all the things judges can do to you in return.

Sometimes lawyers go too far, but do judges ever overreact?

I interviewed Judy Fischer, author of Pleasing the Court (affiliate link), on wayward lawyers and the angry judges who penalize them:

In your short and fascinating book, we meet all sorts of wayward attorneys who are in some way punished by courts for something they've done in a brief. One attorney called the members of an administrative board "monkeys" and compared their pronouncements to the "grunts and groans of an ape." Another attorney neglected to mention an unfavorable case even though he himself was counsel in that case. Yet another referred to opposing counsel as "Nazis and redneck pepper-woods." And various other attorneys drafted a proposed order with a first sentence that's nearly four pages long, filed a complaint that the court called a "hideous sprawling mess," cited a dissent as controlling authority, or copied another lawyer's brief.

When you compare all these alleged ethical breaches with the penalties they provoked, what are a few of the behaviors that seem to irk judges most?

Above the Law: So Much for Flying South: The Alleged Berkeley Bird Beheaders Have Been Criminally Charged

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

So Much for Flying South: The Alleged Berkeley Bird Beheaders Have Been Criminally Charged

Dec 28th 2012, 16:36

Back in October, we brought you news of some wild and crazy accusations that were lodged against two Boalt Hall law students. Specifically, Eric Cuellar and Justin Teixeira allegedly committed some “fowl play” — the killing of an exotic bird, a helmeted guinea fowl — at the wildlife habitat at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas.

These guys aren’t going to have a very happy new year, because after more than two months of silence from Clark County District Attorney’s Office following their October arrest, the pair were formally charged yesterday.

What were they charged with, and how much jail time will they face if they’re convicted?

Contrary to popular belief, the pair were not formally charged in October. In fact, some — including the author of Nevada’s felony animal cruelty law — were quite incensed over the fact that the DA’s Office took so long to charge these Boalties with a crime. But as we’ve noted previously, the wheels of justice turn slowly.

Before discussing the charges, let’s review what happened in this case. Here’s info from the Las Vegas Sun:

A witness told security she saw two men, later identified as Cuellar and Teixeira, walk out of bushes in the habitat with the dead bird, a 14-year-old helmeted guinea fowl named Turk, on the morning of Oct. 12, according to a Metro Police arrest report. Teixeira, who was holding the bird, allegedly threw it toward Cuellar and said, “I (expletive) killed wildlife,” the report states.

Teixeira, who’s been described as a “typical fratty law student,” has been charged two felony counts (killing another person’s animal and torturing, overdriving, injuring, or abandoning animals), one gross misdemeanor count (conspiracy to torture, harass, or abandon animals), and one misdemeanor count (instigating, engaging in, or furthering an act of cruelty to an animal). As it turns out, if Teixeira did, in fact, “f**king kill[] wildlife,” and if he’s convicted on all counts, he could be sentenced to some hard prison time, among other punishments.

As for Cuellar, a law student who’s been described as “kind and gentle,” he’s been charged with one misdemeanor count (instigating, engaging in, or furthering an act of cruelty to an animal). If convicted, Cuellar’s looking at two days to six months in jail, many community service hours, and a potentially hefty fine.

These ugly allegations just go to show that absolutely nothing that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. It’s a shame that these law students allegedly ruffled the wrong feathers in an outing that could ruin their careers.

We'll continue to follow this story as it winds its way through the courts (of law and of public opinion). If you’d like to squawk at us with more information about Teixeira and Cuellar, just email us or text us (646-820-8477).

Flip to the next page if you’re interested in seeing the Clark County DA’s press release on the charges….

Tom & Lorenzo: PR All Stars: Ready-to-Bleh

Tom & Lorenzo

Fabulous & Opinionated

PR All Stars: Ready-to-Bleh

Dec 28th 2012, 16:06

Darlings, we apologize for the lack of a T LOunge last night. We were in a butter cookie coma and completely forgot about it, which should tell you something about how memorable we’re finding this season of Project Runway. Onward, though. Not at all a bad challenge. Sure, PR’s done their share of “make [...]

Tom & Lorenzo: Top 15 WORST 2012 Red Carpet Looks: 5 to 1

Tom & Lorenzo

Fabulous & Opinionated

Top 15 WORST 2012 Red Carpet Looks: 5 to 1

Dec 28th 2012, 14:39

The WORST of the WORST, bitches! Brace yourselves! 5. Elle Fanning in Prada Elle Fanning attend ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ World Premiere in head-to-toe Prada. Ah, youth. When you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground. 4. Zooey Deschanel in Stella McCartney Zooey Deschanel attends [...]

Above the Law: Morning Docket: 12.28.12

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Morning Docket: 12.28.12

Dec 28th 2012, 14:16

RIP, Turk.

* “I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for real. Never meant to make your planet cry, I apologize a trillion times,” is likely what Barack Obama told Lisa Jackson when he found out she was stepping down as EPA administrator. [New York Times]

* Cook County, Illinois, is experiencing problems wherein the kookiest of judges get “electoral mulligans” every six years. Public humiliation and harsh ratings might be a great way to finally put an end to this practice. [Chicago Magazine]

* Another way to get revenge against the schools that screwed grads with their allegedly misleading employment stats: disciplinary action for ethical violations committed by those licensed to practice law. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, unless you’re accused of being a ~~murderer~~ birderer. Boalt Hall law students Justin Teixeira and Eric Cuellar have now been criminally charged for their alleged roles in the decapitation of an exotic bird. [Las Vegas Sun]

* Harvard Law is offering a free online copyright class, and anyone can enroll — even 13-year-olds. This may be your only chance to take a course at an Ivy League school, so hurry up and apply. [National Law Journal]

* George Zimmerman and his lawyer are being sued by a private detective for failure to pay $27K for security services, which included a detailed escape plan to get the murder defendant into a hidey-hole. [Boston Herald]

Above the Law: From Biglaw to Boutique: From Boutique to Biglaw

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

From Biglaw to Boutique: From Boutique to Biglaw

Dec 28th 2012, 15:17

Tom Wallerstein

For as far back as I can remember, the arrival of a new year has been an occasion for me to reflect on my life, where it has gone, and where it appears to be going. Many times I would spend New Year's Eve simply being grateful; more recently, it has been an occasion to try to see a little furthur [sic].

This year, for the second consecutive year, our firm was approached by an Am Law 100 firm to explore the potential of our being acquired or otherwise merging. These overtures are flattering. They also intensify my annual ritual of considering my path and the choices I have made.

I have written before about some of the differences between Biglaw and small. My perception of those differences, however, has changed quite a bit in the nearly four years since I left Biglaw to help start a boutique firm. Our firm also has changed so much from one year to the next that my calculus of the pros and cons of Biglaw also has changed….

For example, I always emphasize that for Colt Wallerstein, the ability to handle smaller matters is very important. As I noted before, "[m]any big firms handle only matters in which the amount at stake is in the millions of dollars. This means that the prospect of an associate landing such a case is slim; a client would never entrust a multi-million dollar dispute to an un-tested associate." Mark Herrmann recently made a similar point.

But as our firm has grown, the flip side to this dynamic has become more apparent. For example, our firm was asked to participate in a beauty contest to handle a matter in which the amount at stake was in the tens of millions of dollars. Ultimately, that client declined to hire us because, we were told, they worried we did not have a deep enough "bench."

Simply put, we lacked the headcount, and the client was uncomfortable with our proposed solutions. That experience made me realize the importance of being able to scale up or down to meet the ebb and flow of business demands. It also highlighted an inherent limitation in being small. There are some cases you simply might not get unless you are part of a big firm.

As our firm has grown, so, too, has my perception of the advantages of a larger administrative and marketing staff. The busier we get, the more valuable our attorney time becomes, and the less cost-effective it becomes for attorneys to do anything that can be delegated.

Perhaps the biggest potential advantage of working in a big firm environment that was less important to me several years ago is the availability of cross-selling. Large transactional departments have traditionally generated litigation matters from their existing corporate clients. Depending on how compensation is calculated, there is potentially great appeal to a litigator being part of a firm with a large retinue of transactional clients who inevitably will have litigation needs. This ready-made source of referral work often has little or no appeal to associates.

Similarly, as my own book of business grows, more and more of our litigation clients ask us for referrals to transactional attorneys. It would be nice for those clients if I could refer them to the partner down the hall instead of to a partner in another firm. (On the other hand, we would lose our many referrals from transactional attorneys outside our firm who send us cases precisely because they know we will send transactional cases back to them.)

I have always enjoyed imagining radical changes, and the coming of the new year is a perfect excuse to do that. Receiving overtures to rejoin Biglaw feeds right into that natural inclination. But is it realistic? What exactly would it take for me to seriously consider rejoining Biglaw?

Of course, the likely and potential compensation would have to be right, and it would have to compensate for giving up the many intangible things I love about my job. The firm would need to allow me to maintain my relatively low billable rate and billing practices, as price competition with Biglaw is one of the primary ways I generate business. I'm not sure I would want to be put back into the position of trying to generate business if I had to double my billable rate and I were only allowed to sign new clients with disputes in the tens of millions of dollars.

Perhaps most importantly, I would look for a leadership or managerial role. Running and growing a firm has proven to be one of the most fulfilling parts of my current gig.

Anyone who has read a few of my last 51 columns on Above the Law knows that I'm happy as a clam with my firm. 2012 was the best year yet for Colt Wallerstein and it becomes increasingly hard to imagine doing anything else. Still, I never say never. I have always been one to listen to overtures. Perhaps 2013 will bring another opportunity that will give me reason to reconsider what I'm doing. For now, however, I think I'll just toast my good fortune, express my gratitude to my family, friends, and colleagues, and continue to be happy that I made the move from Biglaw to boutique.

Tom Wallerstein lives in San Francisco and is a partner with Colt Wallerstein LLP, a Silicon Valley litigation boutique. The firm’s practice focuses on high tech trade secret, employment, and general complex-commercial litigation. He can be reached at tomwallerstein@coltwallerstein.com.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Above the Law: Non-Sequiturs: 12.27.12

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Non-Sequiturs: 12.27.12

Dec 27th 2012, 22:01

Zhang Ziyi

* I don’t fully understand this story, but it involves the beautiful and deadly Zhang Ziyi and a SLAPP suit. [Techdirt]

* I’m interested in who Andrew Cuomo appoints to the New York Court of Appeals, just because I’m interested in how Cuomo picks judges. You know, just because 2016-2020 could be an interesting time when it comes to shifting the balance of power on the Supreme Court. [WiseLaw NY]

* A Holland & Knight partner is leaving to start teaching an “Indigent Defense” class at Georgetown. I’m not sure who is teaching the companion class: “Blood From A Rock: How To Get Fees Out Of Indigent Clients.” [Legal Blog Watch]

* I swear I was absent the day they explained that the NRA is the fifth branch of government in civics class. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Mmm… negative liberty. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* This seems like a good time to say that I watch This Week with George Stephanopoulos instead of Meet the Press. But I really think that DCPD has better things to do than investigate David Gregory’s ammo clip prop. [Slate]

Above the Law: Associate Bonus Watch: Quinn Emanuel Cuts Extra Check For Top End Billers

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Associate Bonus Watch: Quinn Emanuel Cuts Extra Check For Top End Billers

Dec 27th 2012, 20:00

Merry Christmas, Quinn Emanuel billers.

Yesterday, we talked about the Quinn Emanuel bonuses. Many associates were angry, especially those who had billed a lot of hours in 2012. For some of those top billers, their bonuses were smaller than the same amount of work was worth last year.

Well, advocate and thou shalt receive. Quinn Emanuel just sent around a memo announcing that it will be increasing the top-end payments, to bring them in line with last year…

As we noted yesterday, it was a little surprising to hear Quinn associates complain about their bonuses. Quinn is a firm with some of the highest profits per partner figures in the business, and the firm generally shares the wealth with associates who put in a lot of hours.

This year, it seems that Quinn adjusted their grids and the hours tiers, which caused some people to be worse off than they would have been last year. The firm just announced that it will correct those discrepancies:

From: Richard Schirtzer
Subject: 2012 Bonuses

As has been pointed out, we used slightly different grids and milestones for bonuses this year than last. This resulted in most associates getting higher bonuses under this year's schedule. However, a few associates at the higher end of the scale received lower bonuses than they would have under last year's schedule, which we would like to correct. So we will be issuing supplemental checks to those associates to make up the difference.

Here’s what I like about this: if you have a problem with how much you’re being paid, you should tell somebody. I can’t stand the old, WASP-y, conventions that suggest it’s uncouth to talk about money. That’s something that only rich people have the ability to afford.

For the rest of us, money is important, we wouldn’t work without it, and telling people “hey, you call this a bonus” should be an acceptable start to a conversation. Talking about money allows people to get a little collective action going, and in my experience most employers want people to feel that they’re being paid fairly — employees are more productive when they’re not feeling exploited. It doesn’t have to be acrimonious, but there’s no harm in it being transparent. People should feel comfortable telling their bosses how much they expect to be paid, because bosses are very comfortable telling people how much (or little) they are worth.

I’m not saying Quinn associates should march into John Quinn’s office and demand dollars (unless you’re asking for change for a $100), but a respectful airing of grievances never hurt anybody. And for people not working at Quinn, this seems like a good time to remind you that we can be reached at tips@abovethelaw.com, or you can text us at (646) 820-8477.

I think Quinn Emanuel handled this situation like adults. There was a problem, the concern was voiced, the problem was solved. And now everybody can go back to pretending to work until the four-day weekend.

Earlier: Associate Bonus Watch: Not Enough Silver and Gold on the Quinn Christmas Tree?

Above the Law: Caption Contest Finalists: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Above the Law

A Legal Web Site – News, Commentary, and Opinions on Law Firms, Lawyers, Law School, Law Suits, Judges and Courts

Caption Contest Finalists: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Dec 27th 2012, 19:04

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let's have a look at what our readers came up with, and then vote on the finalists….

Here are the finalists (some captions that received the most "likes" from readers in Disqus, mixed with some underrated captions that received the most "likes" from yours truly):

A. Some cops think this passes as probable Claus.

B. “I MUST get around the Fourth Amendment! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch overreacts.
And he made up some ‘specific and articulable facts’
And he chuckled, and clucked, “It’s so unbelievable!”
“With these four magic words, my search is now reasonable!”

C. That Grinch is really a disguised law school CSO employee looking for recent grads presumptively driving to work in the morning which he can add to the “employed after graduation” stats.

D. Cop in warm weather state pulls over green skinned driver for clearly being an illegal alien. After brief discussion, parties form a friendship over their similar likes for over-sized belts and ruining peoples’ day.

E. Judging by the sweet lobster sunburn on the cop, and the awesome 94 pickup with a mobile rape room in the back, I’d say the Grinch is in the company of all other fat, old people who suck at giving presents – Florida.

F. “Every Who Down in Whoville Liked [speeding] a lot…
But the Grinch,Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated [speeding]! [He thought it worse than treason]!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on [the side of the highway], [radar gunning] the Whos,” ~ State Trooper Seuss

G. See? It wasn’t a pretext stop! Our officer was green.

H. Poor Cindy-Lou Who, Who Drove 62.

I. Brian Tannebaum’s other job.

Please vote for your favorite caption in our poll, which will be open through SUNDAY, DECEMBER 30, at 11:59 PM (Eastern time). Thanks!

What is the best caption for this photo?
	A.
	B.
	C.
	D.
	E.
	F.
	G.
	H.
	I.

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Earlier: Caption Contest: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Tom & Lorenzo: Top 15 BEST 2012 Red Carpet Looks, 10 to 6

Tom & Lorenzo

Fabulous & Opinionated

Top 15 BEST 2012 Red Carpet Looks, 10 to 6

Dec 27th 2012, 17:25

Kittens, what we like about this list so far is that it’s full of people who don’t exactly have stellar red carpet records. In other words, there are a lot of “personal bests” on this list and that fills our hearts with warmth because we’re all about the positive reinforcement here at T Lo Worrying [...]

Monday, December 31, 2012

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